Dr. Elaine Heffner: Separation strategies
Apr 17, 2018Elaine Heffner More Content Now Young children dropped off at preschool by their parents often demonstrate various ways of handling initial anxiety about separation. In a recent observation, two little girls arriving at different times each carried a pocketbook. One of the girls also had a doll on her other arm. Although both of the children joined the group in a circle on the floor seemingly without difficulty, it was clear in both instances that they were holding on protectively to their possessions.Fascinating was the way each became interested in using the play materials available but were not willing to let go of their pocketbooks and for one child her doll. One girl solved the problem by first dangling her pocketbook over her arm and then tucking it under her leg. The other child had more of a problem trying to handle the doll and pocketbook while freeing her hands to use play materials in the way she wanted to. She struggled to keep both items under one arm while trying to free the other. As they moved on to other activities, the teacher was able to persuade her to leave the pocketbook on a shelf where she could see it but she held on tightly to the doll.Children often bring things with them to help them make that transition from the security of home and parents to school or other new places. Holding on to those objects says that they are not quite ready to give themselves over to the new environment. It’s like that old Jimmy Durante song, “Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted to go while you also had the feeling that you wanted to stay? We can see from their behavior when they’re ready to stay.Parents often have those same moment of indecision when it comes to separating from their children. A group of mothers talked about their own strategies for dealing with feelings about separation — their own feelings as well as their children’s. In this new technological world, questions about the use of “Face Time” were raised. One mom said it was successful with her older child but her 18-month-o... (Lonoke News)
